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To My Ex: This Is Why I Blocked You

To My Ex: This Is Why I Blocked You

I don’t want you to show up in my life when you feel like it and mess everything up.

I am in a good place now. I’ve finally found peace, and I don’t want you to tamper with that.

You’ve already taken me to enough roller coaster rides. I don’t need one more.

I blocked you because I want to let you know that I am not available anymore. I won’t jump to see you when you send me a drunken late night text.

I won’t be ecstatic from happiness because you remembered I exist. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I won’t be a doormat you can step on.

I don’t want you to have an insight into my life.

I don’t want to think about what to post or not to post on my social media out of fear you’ll see it.

I don’t want you to feel like I’m sending you some hidden messages through the posts I share.

I don’t want you to know where I am and am I seeing anybody. I don’t want you to know anything about me. You lost that right as soon as you took an exit lane out of my life.

I don’t want to know what’s going on in your life.

I don’t want to see the new girl you are dating. I don’t need to see where you have been and what are you up to these days.

You became my past by your own choice, and it’s best I leave you there. There’s no point in keeping tabs on each other. That’s not the way to let somebody go.

I don’t want to be tempted to check up on you.

If I hadn’t blocked you, I know there would be times when I would browse through your social media accounts, looking for God knows what.

At those moments, I would be stricken by nostalgia or I would be just curious. I really can’t tell which, but I know it wouldn’t do me any good.

I needed to remember who I was before you ever came into my life.

I’ve forgotten about that girl. I’ve forgotten her smile. I’ve forgotten what happiness looks like. Intentionally or unintentionally, you took the parts of me I treasured the most.

You took my self-esteem. You took my inner peace. You took my happiness. It’s time I get them back.

It’s time I hit the restart button on my life and find myself again, and I can’t do that if you keep popping up at my news feed.

I have to make peace that you will never change.

You will always stay the way you are. You will never appreciate me.

You will always take me for granted. You will always walk all over me.

I don’t want to grant you access into my life anymore. I won’t allow you to keep going in and out of my life. I won’t allow you to hurt me again. I’ve had enough.

I blocked you because I don’t need strangers in my life.

I never knew you even though I used to care for you so deeply. You were never honest about anything. You said you would never do anything to hurt me, but you stabbed me in the back. You brought me tears and pain.

You didn’t care how I felt about what your actions did to me, and I don’t need someone like that in my life.

You are not someone familiar and close to heart anymore. You are nothing more than a perfect stranger now.

I blocked you because I know deep down that I don’t need you anymore.

All I need is myself. And I know now that I am enough. Blocking you was the best thing I ever did.

Blocking is peace in my mind. Blocking is half of health. Blocking is a happier and healthier life. Blocking is self-love, and I need more of that in my life.