One of the biggest questions known to mankind is “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?” I know we’ve all been there, so you’re familiar with the drill.
Maybe you don’t ask yourself this the very next day after the break-up.
Nevertheless, the moment your head cools off a little, you fall into a never ending abyss of uncertainty, anticipation, and overthinking.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a dumpee or a dumper – either way, you’ll wonder the same things over and over again.
Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me? Are they over me so quickly?
Do they even plan on calling? When will it happen? When will I see their name on my phone screen? When will my torments come to an end?
Well, luckily for you, a relationship expert has the answers to all of your questions. Not only that: you’ll also get a step-by-step guide on how to make your ex reach out first.
10 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Your Ex Hasn’t Reached Out
I’m warning you: you won’t be happy to hear some of the reasons listed below. But hey, it’s always better to know the truth than to keep on living in a lie.
They’re as stubborn as a mule.
They say that pride will always be the longest distance between two people.
Well, knowing this, hearing that the number one reason why people don’t reach out to their exes despite their feelings is that stubbornness won’t come to you as a surprise.
It is likely that this is the case with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend as well.
There you are, without any news from them. Naturally, you assume that they forgot you ever existed and that they stopped loving you.
Maybe they found someone new or they never cared for you in the first place.
But, the truth is quite different. In fact, they feel the same way you do – they just chose to ignore their heart’s desires.
Your ex has firmly decided not to get in touch with you. Of course, not many people can go through their decisions.
If the love is real, sooner or later, they will realize that stubbornness and stupidity are twins. Yes, they’re hurting you with this behavior.
Nevertheless, they’re also breaking their own heart. They’re hurting themselves in the process, and that can’t last for very long.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone. You’re the one who knows this person to the core of their personality.
Therefore, you’re the only one who can give the answer to the question: “Can they keep their word?”
RELATED: What Is He Thinking During No Contact? (8 Most Common Thoughts)
How to fix this?
If your ex is just stubborn – the worst thing you can do is insist on getting back together. This way, they’ll get the impression that their tactic is being fruitful and they’ll just go on with their behavior patterns.
By begging them to come back to you, you’re giving wind to their wings. Instead, just ignore this childish behavior and patiently wait for them to knock on your door.
Nevertheless, there is a huge difference between being stubborn and being determined. Is it possible that they made up their mind for a reason?
Maybe your ex decided that they don’t want you back because you two are not compatible, or maybe it’s obvious that you have no future together.
Yes, they might still love you, but in this case, they are set on their decision and you have little chance of changing their mind.
RELATED: He Blocked Me: What Does It Mean And What To Do About It
They’re fighting a battle within.
When you wonder why your ex hasn’t tried to contact you, you don’t try to take a walk in their shoes. Instead, you focus on your feelings and your own dilemmas.
In the meantime, you picture them happy and content with their life. You assume that them not calling you equals not thinking about you at all.
Don’t misunderstand me: there is nothing wrong with your mindset. You’re so overwhelmed with pain that you can’t get a hold of the broader picture, which is perfectly understandable.
But, is it possible that your ex is actually going through the same things you are? Is it possible that they’re fighting a battle within, which nobody has a clue about?
Just because they don’t go around complaining to your mutual friends about you doesn’t mean that they’re indifferent.
Just because their social media status updates don’t reveal their sadness doesn’t mean that they’re overjoyed with your break-up.
In this case, your ex still hasn’t made up their mind. They’re probably struggling not to call you every single day.
On one hand, they don’t see it as a good idea. They are either afraid of you two splitting up again or they are scared of not getting any positive feedback from you.
On the other hand, it’s clear that they still love you. Their emotions aren’t going anywhere no matter how much they try to chase them away.
How to fix this?
In this scenario, there is nothing wrong with giving your ex a little push. They’re at the crossroads, and you’re the only one who can help them resolve this puzzle in their heart and mind.
I’m not saying that you should contact them first. But, you can give them a sign that you two still want the same things.
Have someone indirectly tell your ex that you would love to hear from them or just use your social media profiles to your advantage – whatever it takes to clear their doubts away.
Anger overwhelms them.
When a relationship ends, it’s a part of human nature to blame the other party for things going downhill. More than anywhere, this happens after romantic breakups.
This attitude doesn’t necessarily make you a toxic person. You are just seeing things from your own point of view, and you can’t grasp the idea that you might be the bad guy in the story.
The same happened with your relationship. Now that it has ended, you are putting all the blame on your ex.
Consequently, you are convinced that they should be the one to reach out first. So, you’re sitting, overwhelmed with sadness, and wondering why your ex hasn’t tried to contact you.
After all, they made a mistake, and normally, they should make the first step. But, have you ever asked yourself: “What if things are actually different?”
This doesn’t have to mean that objectively, you’re guilty of your breakup. Nevertheless, from your ex’s point of view, all the blame is on you.
Maybe you did something to chase them away. Maybe they still have strong feelings for you, but are blinded by anger.
Is it possible that your ex is holding grudges over your actions? Is it possible that they’re full of resentment?
Most importantly: is it possible that they’re not wrong? Is it possible that they have the right to be angry and that you really did something to hurt their feelings?
How to fix this?
Once you give yourself the answers to these questions, you’ll know what to do. Please be honest because this is the moment in which you decide your relationship’s destiny.
If your ex is angry without a proper reason – there is nothing you can do.
Well, technically, you can try to justify your actions and explain yourself to them, but trust me, it’s better to leave them be and give them time to understand how foolish they are.
On the other hand, if you really did make a mistake and hurt their feelings in any way, then you need to apologize. Don’t beg them for a second chance – just tell them that you’re sorry.
Most importantly: acknowledge their emotions. Let them know that you understand their anger and that they have the full right to feel that way.
They don’t want to be needy.
It doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend – what you have to be aware of is that some people are insecure.
They fight with low self-esteem and think that they are not meant to be loved no matter how much attention and care you give them.
Therefore, there is a great possibility that your ex doesn’t want to reach out because of one simple reason: they don’t want to appear needy and clingy.
This is perfectly reasonable if you were the one who ended the relationship.
After all, you left them behind and you decided that you couldn’t keep on with your romance, so it’s natural that they don’t want to call you.
In this case, your ex is probably an overthinker who needs some sort of validation from your part before doing anything.
Every time they think of contacting you, a hundred different scenarios go through their head and each one of them has a negative outcome.
They see you staring at your phone deliberately ignoring their calls. They see you making fun of them and laughing at their love texts with your friends.
Naturally, they don’t want to look like a pathetic loser who can’t get over you while you moved on ages ago.
They don’t want you to think of them as a stalker who refuses to accept that things have been over long ago.
How to fix this?
On the other hand, you and I both know that this couldn’t be further from the truth.
It’s not just that you wouldn’t think of them as pitiful if they contacted you. Instead, a single phone call coming from this person would make you the happiest person in the world.
This is exactly why you have to send them a little hint.
You have to find a way to inspire them to come to you and make sure they know you would never see them as being needy or clingy no matter what they do.
They need some time to think.
Just because you know where you stand with your emotions doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex is on the same page.
No, this is not the sign that they stopped loving you – maybe they just don’t know what they want.
You see, this breakup doesn’t have to be final. Instead, you can see it as a break – a chance for you both to think.
Your relationship has been getting serious lately. Now, your ex has come to the point where they have to decide if this is the real deal.
Forget about the fairytales and romantic movies where people know that they’re meant to be from the very beginning.
This is real life and there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to clear their head before making the final call.
How to fix this?
Some people find this insulting. After all, you have no doubts about your ex being the one, while they’re having second thoughts. So, it’s clear that you’re the one who loves more, isn’t it?
You don’t want to sit around and wait for your ex to make up their mind about you. This kind of situation will leave you humiliated.
You don’t want to put your life on hold, and that’s your right. You appreciate your dignity over everything else, and nobody can judge you for feeling this way.
On the other hand, if you are ready to wait for your ex to think things through, then there is absolutely nothing you can do except – WAIT. Give them time to think and hope for the best outcome.
But, don’t give them all the time in the world. Don’t turn into their safety net.
Instead, give yourself a deadline. If they don’t come to you with a decision up to that date, then turn around and never look back.
Mind games.
When you’re involved with a toxic guy or girl, every little thing about your relationship is a big mind game.
The worst part is that the drama doesn’t end the moment your relationship does. Instead, it goes on and on for a long time after your breakup.
Actually, your ex doesn’t have to be toxic in order for things to turn out this way. It will be more than enough to have an immature ex who thinks that real love equals an emotional rollercoaster.
Either way, the bottom line is that the answer to your question, “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?”, is actually pretty simple: they’re playing mind games.
Whether you like it or not, some people enjoy these hot and cold situations more than they enjoy being in a steady relationship.
If there is no turmoil, then they soon get into a rut and get bored in no time.
So, they initiate a breakup just so you two can get into another cat and mouse game.
They’re not aware of how unhealthy these pursuer-distancer relationship patterns are, and they see nothing wrong with this behavior for as long as it makes them feel alive.
Everything is clear: if your ex is prone to these games, then they’re playing them now as well. They’re pretending to be hard to get, and this entire situation amuses them while it’s tearing you apart.
The most difficult part is determining whether they’re really not into you or are just playing. The answer is simple: if they keep on sending you mixed signals, then it is nothing but a game.
How to fix this?
Well, it’s time to beat them at their own game. Just play along and leave them more confused than ever.
Turn the tables around and put them in your position: let them be the ones to analyze your moves for a change. Act inconsistently, send them mixed signals, and make them think what it is that you want.
Of course, that is, if you enjoy playing. On the other hand, if you’re sick and tired of this kind of relationship, then let your ex have fun on their own.
Whatever you do, just be aware that these people never change. They won’t get enough of their little games no matter what you do.
Basically, you have two choices: you’ll either dance along or you’ll dance away.
Related: Why Does My Ex Hate Me When He Dumped Me? 13 Secret Reasons
They’re waiting for your move.
This one goes hand in hand with stubbornness and pride. The truth is that your ex is waiting for your move.
Let’s be honest: you’re trying to come up with different ways to get your ex back. You’re ready to do whatever it takes except for one thing: reaching out to them first.
What does this make you? Proud and stubborn, that’s right.
Well, why wouldn’t you consider the possibility that your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend feels the same way?
Maybe they’re waiting for you to come back – the same way you expect them to show up at your doorstep.
How to fix this?
This appears to be a lose-lose situation. One of you will have to back up; otherwise, you’ll spend eternity waiting for the other person to walk over their pride and make the first step.
Who should do it? Well, the dumper or the one who’s carrying the biggest blame for the breakup (which is usually the same person).
If your ex left you, then you shouldn’t reach out to them first. Otherwise, you’ll always have your doubts.
Even if you two reconcile, you’ll never be sure about their feelings. Would they ever call you if you hadn’t sent them that text message telling them you miss them?
Are they actually perfectly capable of living without you? Did they get back with you because they love you or just because you were convenient in a given moment?
On the other hand, if you’re the one who has made the mistake or if you’re the dumper – then you have to be the one to ask for a second chance.
I don’t care whether you’re male or female. Trust me: there is nothing wrong with a woman making the first move.
If you can’t forget your ex despite all of your attempts – I say go for it. You’re not miserable for trying to get back together with them. Instead, you’re brave for taking this risk.
No matter the outcome, at least you’ll always know that you tried. You won’t spend the rest of your life haunted by all the what ifs.
This is revenge.
Once more, it’s time for some introspection. Time to look at things realistically, and be fair and honest towards your behavior in your relationship.
If you broke your ex’s heart or left them emotionally damaged in any way, then them ignoring you could be nothing but revenge. They’re just giving you a dose of your own medicine.
This person will probably come back to you. But, their pride doesn’t allow this to happen so fast.
Firstly, they want to hurt you. They want you to feel the same amount of pain they felt.
They want to show you that you can’t play with their feelings the way you want. Moreover, they want respect.
They want you to understand that they won’t be there for you no matter how you treat them. They want you to realize that counting on them at all times and taking them for granted was the mistake of your life.
Now, you ask yourself if this person even loves you when they’re capable of treating you this way. Well, if you really did do them harm – I hate to be the one to tell you, but you had it coming.
These are the consequences of your actions. You deserve this kind of behavior and you have no right to complain much about it.
Yes, they love you – they just love themselves more, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If nothing else, at least you know that they’re not indifferent.
How to fix this?
Your ex’s revenge is not a sign of hatred. They’re not behaving in this manner to chase you away.
Instead, it is their cry. It’s their desperate plea for you to change your ways.
So, if you want to get your ex back, you’ll have to show them that you really are different now. Whether you like it or not, you’ll have to make them think that you’ve learned your lesson.
Trust me: they will never give your relationship a second chance until their broken ego is back in its place.
And, the only way for that to happen is for you two to be equals: for both of you to be hurt and brokenhearted.
Only when your ex stops feeling emotionally submissive and only when they get the impression that their revenge is completed will they come back to you.
They’re trying to heal.
When you’re wondering: “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?”, sometimes the answer is that, at the same time, they’re trying to figure out how to move on.
It’s not that they’re applying the no contact rule to make you feel their absence.
They are not playing hard to get; they’re not doing all of this to make you chase them nor are they waiting for your move. Instead, they’re doing their best to heal their broken heart.
Naturally, the most efficient way to do so is to cut all ties with you and everyone connected to you. The grieving period is over, and now they’re doing their best to rebuild their life without you in it.
Contacting you would mean slipping back. It would mean making two steps backward and ruining all the progress they’ve made so far.
This person is also fighting battles within. But, in this case, they’re not having second thoughts about what to do.
Instead, they know what the right choice is. Their mind has no doubts that you should be left in the past where you belong.
Nevertheless, their heart refuses to obey. They miss you and still have strong feelings for you, but are perfectly aware that your relationship is doomed to fail.
How to fix this?
Looking at things from an optimistic point of view, your ex still loves you. So, not everything is lost.
On the other hand, if they’re determined to make you history, then they’ve made that choice for a valid reason. In that case, you’ll have to fight against real-life circumstances.
I don’t know if these are your personality traits, your incompatibility, or something that happened in the past. Either way, these are the obstacles you’ll have to overcome in order to get to your ex.
Therefore, it will take much more than a simple text message or a phone call to persuade them to follow their heart instead of their brains.
They simply don’t care.
Finally, we’ve come to the part you’d rather not hear about. Look, when we love someone, there is always this undying hope that the other person feels the same way about us.
We are human beings and this hope is what keeps us alive. You’re no exception.
From the moment you and your ex broke up, you have kept expecting their return. After all, your emotions for them haven’t changed a bit.
Instead, they might have even grown stronger. Now that you’re forced to live without them, you realize how much this person actually means to you.
So, you go through every possible scenario except the one in which your ex has fallen out of love with you. Hey, sorry for breaking your bubble, but these things also happen, you know that, right?
Sometimes, there are no mixed signals – no applying the no contact rule to get you back, no hidden messages, and no mind games. Sometimes, they’re just not that into you anymore.
I know that this person loved you to the moon and back. You two shared so many great memories and they swore to eternal love.
But, all of that is sadly over. Maybe they stopped loving you while you two were together, or else the time apart showed them that they’re better off without you. Either way – their emotions are dead.
How to fix this?
That doesn’t mean you can’t revive them, does it? First and foremost, you have to find out whether your ex is in a new relationship or not.
If they’re still single, you won’t have a hard time winning them back. You just have to remind them of all the reasons why they fell in love with you.
Be the person you were at the beginning of your relationship and they’ll be all yours in no time. On the other hand, if they are dating someone new, get to the bottom of this romance.
Is this a serious relationship? Is it long-distance or are they seeing their new GF or BF all the time?
Are they exclusive? How long does it last?
Most importantly: is this just a rebound relationship? Is your ex using this person as a cover for their self-deceptions in which they’re over you?
If this is the case, then you’ll just have to show them that you’re nowhere to be found. They can spend a lifetime searching for you in other women or men, but you’re one of a kind.
Nevertheless, prepare yourself for a scenario in which they really found the love of their life.
Maybe they’ve met their soulmate, and if that is so, then all you can do is let go. Let them be happy without intruding as much as it might hurt.
Nine Magic Tricks To Get Your Ex To Reach Out
Now that you got your question, “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me,” answered, it’s time to get the job done all the way.
Here is the ultimate guide to get your ex to make the first move without you having to actually do anything.
Take a realistic look at your relationship.
Now that you’ve survived the first few months of no contact with your ex, you’re no longer impassioned by everything that has happened. At least, you shouldn’t be.
This doesn’t mean that you’re over them – it’s just that this no contact period was a chance to observe your relationship from a safe time distance.
For the first time ever, you’re no longer blinded by the love you feel for them.
Finally, after a lot of time, you can answer the ultimate question: “Can you imagine your life with this person by your side?” I’m begging you to disregard your ego now.
Forget about who dumped whom. Forget about revenge and closure.
Just do your best to figure out whether you really want to get back together with your loved one. Can you see yourself getting over them any time soon? Or, do you truly see them as the love of your life?
Now that we have that covered, it’s time to rethink the breakup. Let’s try and disregard your emotions here.
The fact is that you two broke up for a reason. What was that reason? Most importantly: is it something that can be fixed?
You see, there is a huge difference between breaking up in the heat of a moment and doing so because your relationship was shattered for a while.
Maybe you two had an argument that went too far. Maybe you can’t even remember how it all started. But, some things were said, you’re both proud, and just like that, your two-year relationship has ended.
In this case, getting back together is the right choice. As soon as one of you makes the first step, you’ll make your relationship work in no time.
Nevertheless, it’s completely different if you split ways for a reasonable cause. It’s different if there are red flags indicating that your romance can’t succeed, but you just refused to see them.
If this is what happened, then ask yourself whether this time will be any different. Pretend that you’re giving a piece of advice to a friend.
If someone told you your love story, would you advise them to try and fix their broken relationship? Or, would you tell them to let go of the love they feel and accept the fact that it’s over?
Improve yourself.
The no contact period isn’t there just to make your ex miss you. Instead, it should serve you a chance to work on yourself.
After all, the worst thing you can do is put your life on hold while you’re waiting for things to go back to their old ways. Rock your single life and get the best out of it.
You haven’t seen or heard from your ex in ages, so you guess they can’t possibly know whether you’re crying yourself to sleep or enjoying every moment like it’s your last. But, trust me, you’re wrong.
Whether you believe it or not, they do feel your vibe. They will sense if you’re desperate, and that will just chase them away even further.
How many times have you heard stories of people reappearing in their exes lives the moment they forgot all about them? Well, that’s the energy I’m talking about.
If your ex notices or senses that you’ve moved on with your life, fear will awaken inside of them. They’ll get scared that you’re moving on from them.
They’ll start to feel replaceable, and they’ll do everything in their power to prevent you from forgetting all about them. Sounds toxic, I know, but this is the effect you want to achieve.
Besides, even if you don’t make your failed relationship work, at least you’ll know you’ve used this period for something good.
You didn’t waste your time looking at your phone and expecting a text message that would never come.
Instead, you rebuilt yourself. You turned into the person you were meant to be from the start.
And, the best part is that when you take care of yourself, you also work on your self-esteem.
Use this time to focus on your qualities. I’m not forcing you to stop loving your ex – just start loving yourself more.
Trust me: as soon as they notice that, they will follow and they will finally give you the treatment you deserve.
Don’t be at arm’s reach.
Once you build your self-esteem, you’ll understand the importance of not being too available to your ex. Look, they’re just a human being, and we human beings are actually pretty simple.
As soon as we see that we can have someone whenever we feel like it, that person stops being interesting.
The moment your ex sees that they don’t have to put effort into having you back – they’ll start taking you for granted.
Why would they waste their energy in fighting for you when you’re always at arm’s reach? Instead, they’ll continue enjoying their single life and exploring their options.
After all, no matter what happens and no matter how much time goes by, you’ll always be there patiently waiting for them.
You’ll welcome them back in your life open-handedly as if they left last week and not last year.
I’m sure you get the picture. They are very sure that they’ll never lose you and that there is nothing they can do to make you stop loving them.
Well, that is why you must rock their world. Your ex has to feel your absence in order to appreciate your presence.
You have to make them worry about losing you permanently.
Social media is a huge part of every relationship. But, it becomes even more important the moment a relationship ends.
Therefore, if you ask me whether you should unfriend and unfollow your ex, the answer will always be no. Of course, unless you still want them back.
You have to use social media as your main weapon. Basically, your profiles give you a chance to turn the tables in your favor without leaving your bed.
The options are endless. You can make your ex jealous while sitting in your PJs. You can make them wonder if you’ve moved on without actually moving an inch.
The crucial thing here is to play your cards right. Please, don’t even think of posting sad status updates or songs that remind you of your ex.
By doing this, they’ll see you as desperate. Besides, you’ll look like a coward. It’s more than obvious that you miss them like hell, but you’re not doing anything about it.
Instead, use social media to make your ex realize that you’re living your best life. Post selfies with a huge smile on your face, go out as much as you can, and don’t forget to travel.
But, don’t forget to tease them as well. Post something that will make them think. Is this song in the back of your video a coincidence? Or, are you sending them a message?
Is that your new boyfriend or girlfriend’s arm in that new photo you posted? Or, are you out with your best friend as usual?
Are you deliberately wearing that shirt you had on the last time you two were together? Or, are they overthinking and imagining things?
The examples are endless, but I’m sure you get the point. Your final goal is to make your ex analyze your every move.
Make them wonder, and that will arouse their interest in you. Sounds like a heck of a plan, doesn’t it? Well, all you have to do is put it in motion.
Give it some time.
The trick about the no contact rule is that it doesn’t give you any results overnight. In fact, even days of no contact won’t make any changes. Instead, you have to give it a couple of months, or at least, weeks.
I know that you want to hear from your ex the very next day after your breakup, but sadly, things don’t work out that way.
As much as this hurts, you’ll have to let time do its magic. Give your ex a chance to miss you and to see how their life would look like without you.
Besides, if this approach doesn’t work out the way you have planned, I promise that you’ll heal during this period.
You won’t notice it right away, but before you know it, you’ll see that you managed to survive without them against all odds.
Either way, taking some time off of your relationship will do you good. You two will either realize that you can be apart or that you want to spend the rest of your lives together.
Break the silence.
I know that the last thing you want to do while wondering “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?” is to be the one who contacts them. Nevertheless, sometimes, you have no other choice.
A couple of months has passed, but there is still no sign of them. You’ve been getting some clues, but nothing significant has occurred.
Before anything else, I want you to know that making the first move is never pathetic.
Sometimes, this roller coaster you got yourself involved in gets out of hand, and you get to the point where you can’t stand still, waiting for a miracle that isn’t coming.
Therefore, if they haven’t reached out after the no contact period, then it’s time to check whether your ex wants you back or not.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not advising you to send them an essay telling them that you can’t live without them and warning them that you won’t survive this heartbreak they’ve put you through.
I know that you probably have the urge to do exactly that, but that might scare them away.
If you have the need to express your emotions, then put them on a piece of paper or talk to your best friend – this is still not the moment to declare your everlasting love to the object of your affection.
Besides, you have no idea if they’ve moved on. Maybe they’re in a serious relationship and you don’t want to appear a fool by wearing your heart on a sleeve just like that.
Instead, find an excuse to break the silence.
Ask them for a favor they can’t refuse, tell them that you ran into some of their old stuff and that you were wondering if they want it back, or even wish them a happy birthday.
Be short and concise, but not too formal. Leave space for further communication, but let them wonder about your true intentions.
Use curiosity in your favor.
Once you contact your ex, they can’t be sure about what you really want unless you want to risk them losing interest right away.
Instead, tease them. Be smart enough to use curiosity to your favor.
For example, instead of telling them that you want your stuff back, just text them something like “Hey, what’s up?” Don’t forget to add a smiley face.
This way, they’ll have to respond. Trust me: your ex wants to know what’s inside your head.
Do you need something from them? Does this text have a purpose? Are you about to tell them how much you miss them? Or, do you just want to see what they’ve been up to?
Once they do respond, you’ll see the direction in which the conversation is going.
Are they being formal? Does it look like they were waiting for this text? Are they keeping the communication alive? Or, perhaps they can’t wait to get rid of you?
On the other hand, if they don’t respond, you still have an ace in your sleeve. Now, you can use the excuse from the beginning of the story.
Do you see what you did there? You just tested the grounds, but avoided the risk of being humiliated in the case that they’re not interested.
The Zeigarnik effect.
According to the Zeigarnik effect, it’s in every human being’s nature to recall the unfinished tasks and activities rather than the finished ones.
What does this have to do with getting my ex back, you’re probably wondering.
Well, surprisingly, a lot. If you follow this logic, you’ll interrupt your conversation in the middle of it – just as things are starting to heat up.
You won’t just disappear, but if you’re texting, you’ll tell them something like: “Hey, sorry, I have to go. It was nice hearing from you. Take care.”
The crucial thing is to do this out of the blue. This way, you’ll leave them confused.
Your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend will feel like there are still some things left unsaid. Your entire drama is unresolved and he’ll get the urge to finish it one way or another.
So, I’ll bet you on this one: they will contact you. It doesn’t have to happen the next day, but sometime soon, you’ll see their name on your screen.
Sounds like magic, I know. Nevertheless, it’s actually science and you should use it in your favor.
Give them a clean slate.
As much as you’d like to, you can’t use this trick forever. Yes, it’s effective in the beginning, but with time, all of it turns into endless mind games that will lead you nowhere.
Sooner or later, you’ll have to end this charade. You’ll either get back together or finish things once and for all.
Either way, it’s your job to give your ex a clean slate. No, you’re not doing this just for them.
In the first place, you’re doing it for your own well-being. You’re doing it to give yourself the closure you desperately need.
Enough with the games: it’s time for some grown-up talk. If you two still haven’t reconciled up to now, then come clean about your feelings and intentions.
Don’t worry: they’re already hooked, and if they plan on getting back together with you, they will give your relationship a second chance.
On the other hand, if they refuse your offer, then at least you’ll know where you stand. Basically, it’s a win-win situation.
To Wrap Up:
I won’t lie to you – there is no magic answer to the question “Why hasn’t my ex tried to contact me?” Everyone is different, and there is a list of causes hiding behind their behavior.
Your job is to figure out which of the reasons mentioned above can be applied to your situation. Once you do that, you’re halfway towards your goal!