In the age of modern dating and almost relationships, knowing where you stand with your man is almost impossible.
With him running away from commitment and pretending to have a deadly illness just to avoid the talk, the only way to know where you stand is to look for signs.
And, well, they’re more than obvious. Your rose-tinted shades may blind you from seeing them clearly, but they’re still there.
He just broke up with someone else
There’s a great chance you might end up as a rebound girl.
Dating someone who just got out of a relationship and hasn’t had time to move on is a one-way ticket to getting your heartbroken.
And it’s no wonder he refuses to talk about you two moving on from casually hooking up, because he’s simply not ready to enter another relationship.
He might even still be in love with his ex.
He doesn’t take you on serious dates
If your dates are only hookup based, Netflix and chill and spending time together at your or his place, without ever going out in public together or inviting others over, you could just be his booty call.
It’s okay if you’re down with this kind of a relationship, but if you’re hoping to have a real one, maybe he’s not the guy to have it with.
If he’s not ready to take you out properly and show you off, he won’t be ready to commit to you.
You deserve someone who will date you for the rest of your life, not hide you from day one.
He disappears for days and pretends it’s not a big deal
If a guy truly cares about you, he will ensure to make time and room for you in his life.
Even if he has no time to spend with you, he will text you and let you know that he’s thinking of you.
But if he takes vacations from your relationship without even getting in touch with you before or during it, he’s simply not worried about losing you.
If he knows that you’ll be waiting for him no matter how shitty his behavior is, there’s no reason for him to commit to you or change for you.
Why would he? He has all the benefits of a relationship without being in one.
He ditches you at the last minute
He knew he had other plans on your date night, he just didn’t bother to let you know about them before it was too late.
He keeps you as a safety net, so that if his other plans fall through, he has someone to go to.
Or simply he doesn’t feel like going out in public with you.
There’s no reason you should put up with this behavior, so put yourself first for once and ditch his lying ass.
He keeps you separate from his friends
You never got to meet them and he keeps telling you, “You’d be bored, you won’t like them.”
But the thing is, when you’re dating someone, you want everyone to meet that special someone.
You want to make sure your friends behave properly so your significant other will like them, you want to make sure to involve that person in every single part of your life, because they’re already a big part of it anyway.
If he keeps you away from his friends and family, he just doesn’t plan on moving forward with you.
He never compromises
It’s either his way or no way. If you want to go out to the movies or grab some dinner, he insists you stay home. And you stay home.
If you feel like clubbing and he feels like going to a game, he goes to the game. He doesn’t have the word compromise in his vocabulary.
It’s simple—he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. He only cares about him, which leaves no place for you in his heart.
Is he really worth losing your sleep over?
He’s only affectionate in private—never in public
When you’re alone, he can’t keep his hands off of you. He kisses you, touches you and drives you crazy with desire.
But the moment you step outside, he turns all ‘coworker’ mode.
He won’t even hold your hand and if he sees someone he knows, he only introduces you by your name, without labeling what you are to him.
If he decides to put on a label, it’s ‘friend’. His excuse: There’s no reason for anyone to know about my private life.
He never talks about the future and avoids making future plans
He never talks about the future, simply because he doesn’t plan on having one with you.
If you even try to talk about some future plans, he changes the subject and quickly moves on without even giving you any info.
And if you try to have ‘the talk’ with him, he says he’s not ready, he’s too tired, etc. He avoids anything that has any connection with commitment and labeling your relationship.
He says he’s bad at dating
Poor little thing, and now I’m supposed to make you better at it? No.
This is an attention seeking excuse, where in case anything shitty happens, he can say, “I warned you.”
No, you didn’t. You just never felt like putting any effort into this relationship, into us.
Since when is being bad at something an excuse for not trying to make it better?
I’m bad at cooking, and still I’m regularly burning my pans and smoking up my kitchen. The important thing is to never give up.
He says he doesn’t want a relationship
This seems quite self-explanatory, but the thing is, almost-relationships are everywhere now. It’s when you’re practically boyfriend and girlfriend, although you’re NOT.
When he says that he doesn’t want a relationship or is not ready for one, what he really means is that he doesn’t want one with you.
We all want to believe that we’re the one who can change his mind, the one he will finally commit to. But we’re not.
I’ve been there; I fell in love with a man who made me his almost, but he never made me his choice. He never showed any will to do so, no matter how hard I tried and hoped.
No matter what I did, how good or bad I was, he never saw me as his girlfriend.
It’s not because there’s something wrong with me, it’s not because I didn’t try enough (trust me, I did), it’s simply because he never wanted a relationship in the first place.
He only wanted the benefits of having one.
